I recently embarked on an epic bicycle excursion to purchase some dried goods at my country store. After returning (and avoiding numerous collisions with motor traffic and pedestrians) I found myself famished to the point of exhaustion. I needed a hearty (vegetarian) manwich before I could even consider tackling the rest of the day. Continue to the next paragraph to see what I mean.

Time to break down the ingredients to this delicious sandwich. Sometimes it is difficult to come up with good meat alternatives for a non-traditional sandwich. If you agree with this sentence, check out Field Roast's Celebration Roast, a vegan grain roast that is very tasty and dense. Though I made this sandwich outside of the 'brunch' window, I decided to include two fried eggs. Adding fried eggs to a sandwich like this pushes it from great to outlandish. Next, a few slices of sharp cheddar cheese. I wrapped things up with some thick-sliced 10-grain bread fresh from my bread machine.

Summary of preparation: slice the Celebration Roast, rub with olive oil and bake for 10-15 minutes. Fry the eggs to your liking. Toast the bread to your liking. Slice the cheese to your liking. This can be a good time to reflect on your day, center your chi and think about fighting the good fight. Add desired condiments (mayonnaise, mustard, relish, horseradish, etc.) and pile everything on.

I designed this sandwich to let people know that I still have what it takes to rock the house (and do the right thing in a topsy-turvy world that challenges our faith every day). This sandwich is worth about 900 calories, 60 grams of protein and 40 grams of fat (though less than 20 of it is saturated). This is the perfect sandwich to encourage growth of your 'winter coat,' ensuring comfort during long walks with your loved ones during the holiday season.

You've waited long enough for my conclusion, so here we go. This sandwich was delicious. Everything came together wonderfully. Though not the prettiest sandwich I've ever made, it made up for it in character. After consuming it I felt refreshed, recharged and ready to do many difficult physics problems (results may vary, talk to your doctor/academic adviser if you are considering this sandwich). Highly recommended.
Final score (out of five):